There are a lot of things that I’m going to start posting about. Old stories that I finally have the stability to talk about. They’re stories that will make people uncomfortable, and writing them down has gotten me thinking about how I kind of wish I’d kept this blog completely private, even from family. I don’t want to hurt anyone with these stories…I don’t want people feeling guilty or like there was anything they could have done to prevent it all. Because quite frankly…that’s not true. The things that happened in my childhood weren’t anyone’s fault but the person who the blog is about. He made decisions…and no one could have prevented them.
I know certain people in my family did everything they possibly could to get me out of the bad situations I was in. The fact is…there was nothing more they could do when the corrupt court system got involved. It’s really hard for me to open up about all the things that have happened in the past…and part of that is the risk I take in hurting my family. I kept many of these stories quiet because I didn’t want to hurt other people. I wanted to protect everyone else. But the fact is, this blog is about me telling the truth…the whole truth about everything that happened. I can’t expect to help someone else going through the same things…if I don’t make it known that these things happened. I’m being a hypocrite if I preach honesty and openness…but am holding things back myself.
I want everyone to really think before they continue reading this blog. I’m going to give it a little bit of time before I post the stories…maybe a few days. And I really need anyone who reads to think a lot about if they can handle reading it. I’m finally at the point where I can talk about it all, but it’s still incredibly hard. I can’t handle hurting other people too.
I know everyone who loves me did everything they possibly could in the situations we were all in. But there was a very mentally sick person trying to foil their efforts, and a court system that was less than helpful. Again, it is NO one’s fault except for the person who actually did the horrible things. I don’t blame myself, and I most certainly don’t blame anyone but him. If anything, I am unbelievably grateful for the people who were there to help. They all saved my life more than they realize now. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. It could have been worse. I could be in a MUCH worse place than I am…but I’m not because of the good people in my life who fought for me.
So again please…think hard before reading anymore on this blog. It’s about to get extremely honest, and I’m going to share a lot more than I ever have.