"Life always offers you a second chance, it's called tomorrow...the past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited, or can only be accepted."

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

New family

I have to start this post with how relieved and thankful and happy I am.

I am a lucky girl. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams…and I’m not just saying that. There was a post recently about how I came *from ashes*. And it really couldn't be a better description. 

From the girl who thought no man would ever love her because she wasn't worthy…I was blessed with an honest-to-God Superman. A man who loves me for every stupid part of me. Whether my pants don’t fit right (just ask him about the pajama pants he thinks are “so cute” even though they look like floods). Whether my hair is sprayed across my face, and my skin is breaking out like it’s 2002. He loves me. No questions asked. No “buts”…no compromises. He just loves me.

Something life changing happened this year. And we’re only 3 days in. My Superman asked me to be his wife. Forever. For always. And no matter what. He asked me to be his wife, and his daughter’s step mom. An honor that I’m amazed I deserve.

I cry just thinking about the weight of the question he asked me on New Years Eve.
“Will you marry me?”

It’s so simple…but it’s not at the same time. Of course I will. 

He means the absolute world to me…and as my mom said…he “brings out the best in her and celebrates it” (PS-if that doesn’t make your heart twinge a little…you have no soul).

But it's not that easy. Because it isn't just him I'm saying yes to. It's his daughter too. It's my future step daughter...a child that will be loved as my own. It's the future family I'm saying yes to. All the kids we will someday have...the stresses and positives.

The days we love each other too much and the days we can barely look at each other. I'm saying yes to all of it. Happily...and wholeheartedly. Well...if I said yes...

I have been married. I have daddy issues. I have survived a massive amount of heartbreak and hell. Am I really ready for another marriage...or even the possibility of it? Am I ready for a child?

Who am I kidding? The life in front of me is ten times more amazing than anything I ever thought I could have.

And now…I have a man that will be my husband for the rest of my life. And I have a beautiful little girl asleep upstairs that will be my step daughter. 

Were you really doubting it...? 
Of course I said yes. I said yes...for every day for the rest of my life. 

We went to a winery for NYE with Nick’s best friend and his girlfriend. We ate way too much food, danced, and drank wine. It was a beautiful night. As the countdown neared, we danced away to Eric Clapton’s “Beautiful Tonight” (a song that made me cry as it reminded me of my dad). As the song ended I noticed Nick’s heart racing and hands shaking.

All of a sudden his best friend was behind the microphone saying words like “midnight” and “proposal”. I turned around to find Nick on one knee. My own knees betrayed me...and to keep from falling, I ended up slightly on the floor.

Now a reasonable person would respond with smiles and laughter. I responded with yelling “No you’re not!!!” and hysterically crying.

Luckily the lovely man has grown accustomed to ignoring my psycho-babble and proceeded to propose anyways.

And now there is a big old rock on my hand. And an extra skip to my step. 

I’m getting married. Not now. Not next year…but it’s in the plans.

Fact is we've waited long enough (insert obnoxious throwback here)

And I couldn’t be happier. Because I’m marrying MY Superman <3

(Little did he know a few months ago he would be truly stuck with me...after he caught the garter and I caught the bouquet)

And on one final note...I just want everyone to see the adorable show of dimples and the look of pure joy he had minutes after realizing he pulled it all off successfully. 

I'm getting married. To a man better than the one I had dreamed of. 

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