"Life always offers you a second chance, it's called tomorrow...the past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited, or can only be accepted."

Friday, August 8, 2014

I have a Percocet problem

Ok so this isn't what you're thinking. This isn't some big apology/acknowledgement that I'm a drug addict...because I'm not. But the title is true...I do have a Percocet problem...

It all started with an interesting experience I had this week. I had some issues with a minor medical procedure...and ended up in huge amounts of pain. My doctor (as most doctor's would) prescribed me some hardcore painkillers to help me deal with it.

Now let me clarify...I'm a freak about painkillers. There are still some sitting in my cabinet from when I got my tonsils out approximately 3 years ago. I don't take them...and for good reason. Not only have I inherited massive amounts of addictive genes, but my father was disgustingly dependent on painkillers. He had a bad back...and used that as an excuse to stay high on painkillers whenever possible. So needless to say...I stay the hell away from any narcotics unless it is medically NECESSARY. (And by necessary I mean unbearable amounts of pain).

Anyways, the pain got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore...and I took one of the Percocet pills I was prescribed. Let me tell you...I completely understand the addiction to them now...

NOT NOT NOT!!! I'm sorry but taking one of those pills actually hindered my understanding of addiction because it was so horrible. It gave me a stomachache, a headache, and made me feel like a lunatic. My head was spinning, I got dizzy when I stood up, and it made me feel like I was drunk (without the fun part). It made me foggy, tired, and downright stupid. I felt like I was slurring my words...and it barely even helped the pain. And can we talk about the itching for a minute?! My skin was crawling...which apparently is just a common side effect of the drug. I have to admit, it dulled the pain enough to make it worth it...but I can't IMAGINE wanting to take it for the high. It was horrendous.

I understand addiction. Typically, I spend way too much of time reading articles, books, and taking classes on the subject. But physically...I can't imagine enjoying a high enough to put myself through all of that. There was nothing enjoyable about it. I felt like I was slowly killing myself...and like my heart was just going to give out on me.

The worst people my age...people I went to school with...are taking these pills for entertainment purposes. They are abusing these drugs...until they can't get high off of them anymore. Then they move on to bigger ones. And when those stop working...they end up addicted to the high of heroin. They are DYING left and right...dropping like flies...just to chase this "euphoria" feeling. Basically the euphoria being the drunken high feeling I felt on the pill.

Why are we doing this? I can't bring myself to understand why as a many of us are slowly killing ourselves just for this temporary "good" feeling (and I say good loosely). My father did it, people I went to high school with did it...and are continuing to.

Here's my question to you...anyone reading this:

What is it going to take? How much has to happen, and how many lives have to be ruined before you put it down and walk away? Who has to reach out to you to help? Because I will be that person, if you just tell me.

There are so many resources for help. There are so many people who want to see you alive. There are so many opportunities available for your life if you quit. No "high" is worth putting your life at risk.

Call me, email me, comment, Facebook me, Tweet me...whatever. Or contact someone else. Just take the first step and ask for help.

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