I saw something today that struck me. It made me want to write for hours, just hole up in a room and write everything down that I could possible think of. I found an article talking about Project Unbreakable. Now I have nothing to do with it...and just stumbled upon it today...but it seems to be everything that I've been working towards. Everything I've wanted to push out in the world.
Project Unbreakable encourages abuse survivors (specifically rape/sexual assault survivors) to talk about their situations and their experiences. It shocks people into realizing just how sick the abuse is. How victims blame themselves for years, and are too terrified or embarrassed to speak out about it. It's a common theme...victims stay victims because they can't bring themselves to break out of the shell of shame and tell someone.
It needs to stop. This project needs to take over the world. Because why should WE feel bad about our abuse? Why should WE be the ones to keep quiet? Why should WE keep our mouths shut just to make the people around us comfortable? Why should we PROTECT the people that attacked us?
My grandmother told me about a year ago that I was damaging my father's memory. She told me that I needed to stop talking about all of the things that had happened because it upset HER and it upset other members of our family. She told me to stop because he was dead...and it wasn't honoring his memory.
And I kind of did. I watched what I said. I stopped talking to her, because I realized I would never be able to get through to her. She would never understand or accept the things that my father did. It would always be my fault, and I would always be the "liar" creating drama.
But you know what? SCREW THAT. I will not be quiet for the comfort of others or to protect his memory. Quite frankly, he doesn't deserve to have his memory protected. He made choices. He hurt people. He could have tried to redeem himself and make amends, but he chose not to. And I will not stop talking about it because he's dead. His death doesn't give him a free pass for all the things he did while he was alive.
I'm not sorry that the things I say hurt other people. Some think that I should be...but I'm not. I'm sorry my feelings are too much for you to handle...but I'm not sorry for talking about it.
So much more I want to say, with no time to say it. Other than I'm behind this whole "Project Unbreakable" thing 100%.