It has come to my attention lately that I am cutting things and people left and right. It's not really intentional...I just find myself not caring about the things that I did before. There are relationships that I'm too tired to keep working for. I have been putting crazy amounts of energy into people that are sucking the life out of me.
Worst part...I didn't even realize I was doing it. I thought the opposite...that I had a good balance of fighting for those that deserved it...and letting go of the ones that didn't.
Until I got too tired.
When I got too tired...I just stopped. Completely. I reached out to some people occasionally...but when the response was non-existent or less than true effort...I just stopped responding.
I'm not fighting stupid fights anymore. I get frustrated with school or other stupid things...and I just don't have the energy to care.
The things that mean something to me...I will fight to the death for.
The other things...I'm truly starting to walk away from.
I want my happy. And I'll do anything to keep it.
I want the things that mean something.
And only those things.
My family is so amazingly beautiful. The family in my home...and the extended family that we choose to surround ourselves with. I run a business that I love...with people I enjoy working with. I have an amazing full time job...that feels more like working with family than anything.
I am still working towards healing and choosing healthy love. Every day I have to avoid falling back into bad habits and giving myself to people that don't deserve it. I have to remember that some people truly aren't worth it...blood or not. My household needs my attention, my work needs my attention...I need MY attention.
I don't have time to be unhappy.
I don't have time for frustration.
I don't have time for meaningless.