Choosing peace

 Writing has not been coming to me well lately. In fact, almost every day I am "supposed" to write...I don't want to. I am too stressed, too stretched thin, and too angry.

Life is a little bit out of sorts at the moment. I do try to keep an overall idea of my family out of this page because while it is related (pun intended)...I try to keep some distance. It wasn't always that way, but as my kids get older and understand the weight of things they have heard...I have to learn how to manage that appropriately.

That being said.

I just moved a family of 7 to the middle of the Pacific Ocean...and I am trying to work, unpack, parent, and function on my own. It doesn't leave for a lot of time to process trauma and then rip it open again "on paper."

So-

I am ignoring my calendar for a bit going forward...at least until I catch up. If I allow this page and the book to become an added part of my anxiety...I am giving more power back to the man that caused it all in the first place. 

And we're not doing that.

I'll be here. I still have some posts planned and I still intend to keep writing when/if it feels like I can mentally. But I'm going to take some pressure off for the moment because instead of being REALLY good at being a mom, getting unpacked, and maintaining my mental health...

I'm trying to SURVIVE being a mom, getting unpacked, working my job, writing a book, keeping myself in shape, fostering friendships, and maintaining my mental health.

All of those things can not exist at the same time.

And a few of them hold high priority.

So I'm going to do my best with at least a few of them while I refocus. And maybe part of that is exactly the point of the book and this page anyways. 

Learning when to acknowledge "this is not something I can take on right now," and learning when to simply let yourself recognize you CAN do all of it...but you shouldn't. 

Ensuring you break cycles for your kids - whether or not you know how to.